Updated: Mar 18
In all my years of helping individuals with their issues, I have never met a single person who didn’t need a little extra love or an extra push when it came to boundaries.
We all know what we want, right? Well, establishing healthy, solid and realistic boundaries will help you get there (to what you want) or make it abundantly clear that what you want isn’t an option.
Also, needing boundaries does not make you weak. There is not a person on any walk of life, that I can think of, who couldn’t benefit from some boundaries.
Boundaries are applicable in school, at the workplace, at home, in church and within the family. Men, women, children, adolescents, mothers, bosses, friends - we all need boundaries!
Typically when it’s in the workplace the list of desires are: to make it further in the company or field, to be valued more (monetarily) or to be taken seriously (plain and simple). Those are just to name a few! Just saying, boundaries will help you get every one of these things or they will help you understand whatever it is you are wanting to happen isn’t going to happen.
Just to give you an example, one off the top of my head: think about some newbie in the office trying to prove themselves, working themselves to the bone trying to prove their worth and just increasing their workload until the point that they are both physically and emotionally over-drafted. They are working all day, getting in early, staying late and working late hours when they get home, their boss has their cell phone number and there is no line, nothing is off limits. All of their wheels are spinning and all the cylinders are firing, all day - everyday for an indefinite amount of time. Catch my drift?
So, you are interested in boundaries right? It’s probably because you need help establishing some of them and you are looking for a little guidance - I am all too happy to help!
Here is a quick list to help you get started and implement in no time.
Say what you want (or write it down)
Tell yourself what needs to happen to get what you want
Communicate to the person who is directly tied to what you want #1
Tell the person directly tied to what you want the items listed in #2, communicate that these are your boundaries and you are going to be sticking to them.
#4 comes with some grace - you have to work with people who you establish boundaries with. My motto is first time remind of boundary and help/assist with the stipulation that you can’t do it again, second time reinforce boundary and step back, the same with the third and so on.
In my experience, creating realistic boundaries is never the hard part; the hard part is enforcing the boundaries you identify and set up. The more you have to lose, the closer you are with a person and the more you are trying to prove the harder it is to stay firm on a boundary, it’s just the nature of the beast because you are emotionally more invested.
After awhile crazy things start to happen; your well established and enforced boundaries help you see with great visibility. You will be able to see if this will really happen or if you need to take that boundary and to move on to the next. Given, when it comes to family we can’t exactly pick up and on to the next - but once you have been standing firm by your boundary unapologetically you will notice your peers stop pushing the envelope.
If you are interested in learning more about what it takes to get you to your goals and setting up professional boundaries reach out, I would love to help you anyway I can.
Very best & be well,